trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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