Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
