1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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