Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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