im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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