Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
