Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This house was built for laser tag.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
