too bad you live with your parents still
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
