Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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