Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
