Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
