what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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