Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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