Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
