whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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