man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
