11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
