sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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