cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
