dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
