Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize