Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
