I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
