Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
