I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
