So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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