Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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