Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
