we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
