They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize