just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
