He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
