I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
