Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize