the condom got lost in my hair
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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