Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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