you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
