I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the day after is always just damage control
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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