in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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