I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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