i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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