we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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