I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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