hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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