she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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