Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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