If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
