make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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