you mean i was at the winter classic?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
