Swine flu is the new snow day.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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