I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
bring money and cleavage
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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