He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
