I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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