It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
