singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I believe in your delicious
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
