I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
