we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
